It's good that we now universally get that "racism" is a bad thing (which is why even racists deny that they are). But racism is more than acting out publicly, saying deliberately unkind things, or having conscious hostility toward people of color.
By accident of birth I am Caucasian. In this country that affords me some unearned privileges that people of color cannot necessarily take for granted. I am unlikely to be stopped for no reason. If stopped, I am unlikely to be harassed or threatened. At 50, I will never have the indignity of being called "boy" or asked to show a driver's license even if I am walking somewhere. Rarely on an elevator will I notice women clutching their purses tighter because of my presence. I've never had to wonder if walking in a hoodie in certain neighborhoods would cost me my life. If I were to miraculously become president, I wouldn't have my very citizenship called into question, and if I did, the person who led such a mean spirited campaign against my Americanness would certainly not wind up being the next president! And, I won't have to hear people telling me to get over the centuries of injustice that continues to inject racist assumptions into our daily lives.
I try to be aware. Educated. Sensitive. I really want to be a good person. And still, I find myself using language sometimes that suggests whiteness is normative or my experience is universal. That's racism. It isn't conscious or intentional, but on some level I depend on the safety that simply looking white affords me. There are other perils in my life, but I will never be targeted by the systems of power for the color of my skin. That means that racism has infected me also. It means I have more work to do.
It's not enough to not use pejorative language about the "Other" or to have a friend or two who doesn't look like you. It's not enough to have a racially mixed family or attend a fairly diverse church or have a family or two on the block who looks or sounds different from you. It isn't enough to say racism is bad or to pray for peace or unity when racial tensions explode somewhere. It isn't enough to say "we should be Americans first" or "we're all part of the one human family."
If we think Nazis include "Good people" or that the murdered are as culpable as the murderers in acts of domestic terrorism, or that protesting white supremacy is as bad as white supremacy, or if we are bored or unconcerned with reminders of Native American genocide, of Brown families being torn apart by draconian deportation policies, with our history of denying Japanese Americans liberty simply because of their ancestry, or with the heartbreaking stories of Jim Crow whose attitudes plague our country still, or if we are completely unaware or intentionally ignorant about the realities of white privilege, or if we are untroubled by white supremacists in government or if we are silent when government leaders of any party refuse to condemn white supremacists and their actions (without adding false equivalencies between them and their victims), then we are not free of racism and we have work to do.
It's probably a good sign that no one wants to be thought of as a racist. It will be better when no one wants to BE a racist. That may not be possible, but the goal is worthy nevertheless. And yes, white friends, neighbors, and family...WE are responsible for enjoying unearned privilege without trying to make society more fair, and we are responsible for not doing enough to confront and combat racism in our midst and in our hearts. Not owning that responsibility is also racist. Let's do better.