Pardon My Overshares
When I came out to myself, I came out to the world (and btw world, in case you forgot, I’m still gay!). And it was such a liberating and life-giving experience that it taught me to live my life openly, gladly, and as much as possible without shame or fear (or at least in spite of fears).
And so, I may “overshare” on occasion. I share my doubts, my challenges, my victories, my hopes, my joys. I share about my battles with (and various victories over) depression. I shared about my detached retina, long healing process, and the joy of finally having better vision than before the incident. I shared when loved ones passed from this life experience to whatever is next. I share about my long, complicated, and often dysfunctional relationship with the scale. I share about coming of age in the world of AIDS and living well as a long term survivor. Recently I’ve shared about a fairly brief experience of Bell’s Palsy (and the exciting and rapid improvement that followed).
I am not looking for sympathy (well, not from the masses...I have my personal sympathy providers and I’ll call them when I need them). I’m not looking for anything, actually. What I want to do is share that living a life of faith is not necessarily a life of constant ease, but it can be a life of constant hope and joy that is frequently renewed. I want to show that faith can help us find and employ tools that will enable us to conquer, survive, learn from, or reinterpret the challenges in life. Faith can even give us the power to laugh and laughter, as it turns out, is healing.
I simply want to be a credible witness to the truth that while experiences come and go, we always have the power to hope, to love, to laugh, to keep moving forward. We can demonstrate blessings in the middle of uncertainty, and we can experience love, peace, gratitude, and optimism regardless of the circumstances at hand.
I don’t always do it as well as I’d like. I can feel defeated or overwhelmed or afraid like everyone else, but I do try to remind myself that I don’t have to stay stuck in those feelings forever. And when I change my attitude about something, I almost always, to some degree, also change my experience of it. And I hope that is encouraging to others who may be facing difficulties.
So, forgive me for the overshares, but I offer them as gifts, and like all gifts, if they don’t appeal to you, “accidentally” leave them in the car and forget about them (possibly regift them later). But if they do encourage you, I am so glad and that alone makes it a blessing for me.
—Rev. Dr. Durrell Watkins
Sunshine Cathedral
Ft. Lauderdale
Showing posts with label sharing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sharing. Show all posts
Friday, June 08, 2018
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
My 100th Blog Post!
"When people ask me about their personal relationships, I can read the future simply by the attitude of the question. If they talk about what the other person is not doing for them, I know the relationship is probably doomed...[Neediness is a symptom] of desperation...To create a lasting relationship...means thinking about what we are willing to give before looking at how much we are going to get." - Sakyong Mipham
The Sakyong reminds us of exactly what Jesus is remembered to have taught, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Sometimes we make the mistake of wanting church or a lover or a friend or a job to make us feel good enough, important, special. But we don't get our needs met by demanding, begging, complaining, or expecting others to give us what we think we need.
Religion is a relationship. Romance is a relationship. Work is a relationship (or several). Even being on a diet is to redefine our relationship with food.
Relationships aren't one-sided. Relationships aren't about getting what we want, when and how we want it, and punishing the other by vilifying or abandoning him or her if what we want or think we need isn't handed to us. Relationships are mutual. Yes, we receive. We even have specific desires and expectations, but we also have responsibility. We need to offer something. Giving and receiving become the exchange of energy that provides health and well-being to a system, a relationship.
A body of water that has no outlet will stagnate. There must be give and take in order for the body to be fully alive, fresh, and life-giving. When we aren't getting all that we need, sometimes the question to ask is, "Am I giving all that I can give?" If we aren't doing our part, the other will never be able to fill the void.
Whether in a friendship, a religious community, a career endeavor, or any other sort of relationship, we must remember that relationships aren't one sided. If we aren't getting what we need from them it is often because we aren't giving enough to them. Before blaming the other, let's honestly look at how much responsibility is ours. The good news is that whatever is ours we can change, and the ability to change is the power to achieve. As we learn to give what we can, we may find that we receive much more than when we simply complained about what we didn't have.
The Sakyong reminds us of exactly what Jesus is remembered to have taught, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Sometimes we make the mistake of wanting church or a lover or a friend or a job to make us feel good enough, important, special. But we don't get our needs met by demanding, begging, complaining, or expecting others to give us what we think we need.
Religion is a relationship. Romance is a relationship. Work is a relationship (or several). Even being on a diet is to redefine our relationship with food.
Relationships aren't one-sided. Relationships aren't about getting what we want, when and how we want it, and punishing the other by vilifying or abandoning him or her if what we want or think we need isn't handed to us. Relationships are mutual. Yes, we receive. We even have specific desires and expectations, but we also have responsibility. We need to offer something. Giving and receiving become the exchange of energy that provides health and well-being to a system, a relationship.
A body of water that has no outlet will stagnate. There must be give and take in order for the body to be fully alive, fresh, and life-giving. When we aren't getting all that we need, sometimes the question to ask is, "Am I giving all that I can give?" If we aren't doing our part, the other will never be able to fill the void.
Whether in a friendship, a religious community, a career endeavor, or any other sort of relationship, we must remember that relationships aren't one sided. If we aren't getting what we need from them it is often because we aren't giving enough to them. Before blaming the other, let's honestly look at how much responsibility is ours. The good news is that whatever is ours we can change, and the ability to change is the power to achieve. As we learn to give what we can, we may find that we receive much more than when we simply complained about what we didn't have.
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