Saturday, July 11, 2015

Marriage Equality Helps Some and Hurts No One

I admit, I chime in on Right Wing sites from time to time...not to change the minds of the Far Right (arguments, however well-reasoned, rarely change hearts and minds), but to show those (especially young people) who might be hurt by their hateful rhetoric that there are other, more liberating perspectives that they can explore.

Yesterday, on one such site, someone named "Lois" had this to say: "If they want to live their perverse lifestyle go ahead but why do they want us all to agree with it? After all one of the reasons for marriage is to propagate the human race and you cannot do that as a "gay".(they have high jacked that word as well) if they do not repent their deeds they will be judged by God, whether they believe it or not."

And my response was as follows: 
"Perverse lifestyle? That seems harsh and hateful (and impossible to verify...I couldn't possibly know what "lifestyle" or "perversions" were practiced by every gay or straight person...seems like a blanket judgment that just isn't necessary). 
RE: marriage/ children...Lots of people have children without marriage, and lots of people marry without having children. Reducing marriage to licensed procreation is an insult to love, affection, commitment, and shared joy (not to mention the many legal benefits that come with marriage).
If child bearing was a marital deal breaker, then post-menopausal women couldn't marry, women with hysterectomies couldn't marry, men and women who were for any reason "sterile" couldn't marry...procreation can happen with or without marriage and marriage doesn't guarantee procreation.
People marry because they love each other, they want to celebrate their commitment in a public way, and they want to live together with legal benefits thereafter. Meanwhile, because of adoption, surrogacy, and alternative insemination, having children is an option for same-gender loving couples (and many SGL couples do have children).
My husband and I lived together (spiritually married) for 16 years before we were able to have a public wedding ceremony, but having over 200 people at our wedding, 11 clergy bless our union, and friends and family from all over the country come together to celebrate our love, our commitment, our shared life was the most beautiful moment of my life. It was magical. It was sacred. Why wouldn't you want every couple in love to experience that blessing (if they wanted to do so)? It takes nothing away from anyone else's relationship, or even their religious prejudices. You're still married and you still don't think i should be...see, nothing has changed in your world. 

So, marriage is now an equal right rather than a heterosexual privilege; marriage equality benefits lesbians and gays, but it doesn't harm you in any way." - Durrell Watkins 

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