Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Unhappy Patient

I'm under the weather. What I thought was hayfever evolved into laryngitis which was soon compounded by razor sharp throat discomfort. I've been most pitiful.

I hate being sick, even when its such a little thing as the flu or a sinus infection. You see, I'm HIV+ and I take great pride and comfort in being both alive and in relatively good health. So, whenever I have anything that doesn't fade into nothingness within 24 hours I get very frustrated. I'm the one who believes in mind over matter. I'm the one who believes in positive thinking. I'm the one who whose good health defies reason. So a three day bug threatens my super-survivor self-image.

I know its silly. I mean, feeling good isn't really such an accomplishment. It's not like getting accepted into medical school or being Secretary of State. But somehow, I seem to be very invested in it. So, the three times a year or so that I come down with some cold virus or allergy, I become irritable and more than a little self pitying.

Usually, a bout of throat or respiratory ickiness winds up being a reminder that I'm tired and need rest or that I'm overly stressed and need to put things in perspective. These minor illnesses help me rest my mind and body. You'd think I'd learn to take care of bidness without having to lose my voice or be rendered unconscious from antihistimines.

So here I am, an unhappy patient recovering from laryngitis and fatigue. Things will get back to normal soon. They always do. But this recent bout of the blahs is a good reminder to me, and maybe to you. The reminder is how good things usually are and how much we should appreciate the good. The secondary reminder is that even when things aren't going our way, there is still something good that came from it or at least something valuable to learn from it. I guess a third thing to remember is that if we don't intentionally get enough rest along the way, our bodies will go to dramatic lengths to see that we take care of ourselves, at least sometimes.

In the end, its all good. Hey, now I'm not so unhappy anymore.

No comments: